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Bad Bread

Posted on March 20, 2021March 20, 2021

Sometimes, food goes bad. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t food.

I ate a lot less porridge this year, which resulted in a large jar of flax seeds going unused for a very long time and when I opened the jar it smelled funny — and by funny I mean not good.

Most people, at that point, would just throw them away. But I hate throwing things away, unused.  Sure, I could have spooned them into bowls of water and used them as egg substitutes in multiple baking projects — but that would take too long. Besides, I have lots of eggs, and I favour chia when my eggs are busy.

So I decided to sprout the flax. That’s right – if something is getting gross, just bring it back to life and kill it again:  then it’s not rotten, it’s fresh!  It’s like, “I don’t want to eat that sick dear that is dragging itself through the woods.”  So you nurse it back to health so that it is strong and vibrant, and then you kill it.  I like things fresh, not pathetic.

But we’re not talking about meat, we’re talking about a bunch of not-meat-stuff.  I left the seeds in jars of water for a couple days, and after they sprouted I tossed them into a food processor and added flour and my sour dough culture, and baked it.

I had a lot of sprouted flax porridge, which is a good thing, because sprouted breads can be a bit tricky:  the first loaf had a very nice crust, but was hollow with a thick layer of raw settled dough at it’s base; the second attempt was acceptable, but did not have a great rise; but the third loaf was just right.  By that point I had enough bread so I gave it away, but I assume it tasted fine.

So, I gave the third loaf (good loaf) away, used the second (flat loaf) for sandwiches, but the first loaf?

I have a really nice bread knife, so I cubed and froze them.  They can later be baked or fried to make croutons (you can never have too many croutons), or soaked and baked in old milk to make bread pudding.

If you find yourself with sour milk but not enough frozen bad bread cubes – either because you got good at baking bread or you just really want croutons, don’t despair!  You can throw a kefir grain or a spoonful of (live) yogurt into it, and it will of course turn into yogurt or some form of cheese.  And if you have the stale seeds but don’t want bread or egg substitutes?  I suppose you can always plant them, and eventually end up with fresh seeds.

So now you know how to not waste stale seeds, bad bread, or sour milk, separately or together.

Hooray.

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